Constant lateness is disrespectful. Let’s see how different conductors handled latecomers for choir rehearsals.

Dr. Ouchterlony would make you stand and wait on the side until an appropriate moment, and then say loudly and very politely, “DO sit down”, and you felt absolutely awful for being late.

John Tuttle would start on time. 7 pm is 7 pm, not 7:03.  All students learned that; nobody was ever late.

The worst is when a conductor says five minutes past starting time: “Where is everybody?” – Well, I am here, we are here; we are the Everybody.

At performances, especially opera, you can’t get in the door until the overture is over.  At the Nutcracker you can’t get in until break which is an hour later.

Parents: don’t take children late to school, because there are consequences.

  • If you are late for a meeting, remove coat before entering room, enter quietly, take the nearest seat and begin listening. Do not wave to friends, vocalize an apology, or fuss about as you settle yourself.
  • If you are meeting one person only, call ahead of time and say, “I am running about x minutes late” so that the other one can do something more constructive than wiggle his thumb while he is waiting for you.
  • If you have a lunch date, one minute of waiting seems a lot more than 60 seconds.

Shut The Door policy works well too.

My colleague, Jodi Blackwood from Vancouver, USA also commented on this issue:

“Years ago I worked for a resort that was owned by an individual who had also developed an airline business. In the early years, certain staff meetings were held on board a plane. When it was said a meeting started at a specific time, it meant “wheels up” at that time — and you had better be on board!

Another thought to the latecomer issue … I used to attend a business meeting that consistently started 15 to 20 minutes late because “we are going to wait just a few more minutes for the rest of the group”. Those of us who managed to arrive in a timely manner found it very disrespectful to us and our time — and we stopped attending.

Avoid punishing those who arrive on time; begin at the appointed hour and when the latecomers arrive, they are there. Continue with your class, don’t recap or catch them up, and avoid acknowledging their disruption as much as possible. If they ask what they have missed, tell them they will have to find out after the class is over. Personally, I like the idea of responding with an “Oh, gosh, as timeliness is a sign of respect, I don’t go back over what is covered in the
beginning of class when asked to recap what happened prior to a tardy arrival. A person may be late but it does not need to become my — or the rest of the class’s – problem.”

If you are a constant latecomer, ask yourself why. What are you trying to accomplish during those last ten minutes? Leave ten minutes earlier than you would normally, and you will feel so much better not having to interrupt others.

 

Workshops

International Business Etiquette
Saturday, February 8, 2014

Teen Etiquette
Sunday, February 9, 2014

Workshops are held at 100 Dowling Avenue, Toronto
To register or inquire, please email adeodata@businessofmanners.com

 

What People are Saying

Comments re cell phone etiquette only came from overseas. I will post it though for those who understand.

Nagyon jól nézel ki!!!! Örülök, hogy láttalak!
Sajnálom, hogy Adeodata barátnom csak angolul ír. Itthon ezreknek lenne rá szüksége.”
Görög Ibolya címzetes egyetemi docens, protokoll szakérto, szakíró. És Ms.
Hungary

Det var roligt att se tv-inslaget som du hade en länk till. Bäst var det när DU kom i bild, var det där du bor? Trevlig trädgård. Du ser lika vacker ut som när jag såg dig senast. Cellfånar är aldrig roliga. Ofta så råkar jag ut för situationer när någon jag pratar med får ett samtal på sin telefon och jag helt plötsligt står där som någon statist. Det är ett problem. Men där finns också början till att medventengöra detta faktum och ofta när jag påpekar det så ser folk överraskade ut.
Det är som om de aldrig tänkt på vad de gör när det ringer. Lite som Pavlov’s hundar och betingade reflexer.
Din vän,
Peter Akemark
Sweden